IDIOTOCRACY

 

I have a friend who makes a lot of mistakes — more than most, really. It’s hard to keep track of them all. But there’s one thing he does that I can’t quite figure out. When he gets something wrong, even if you show him proof, he’ll keep arguing until, finally, he says something like, “Oh, never mind,” or “I’m not gonna discuss this anymore.” It’s not exactly closure, but it’s the closest you’ll get with him.

Claim 1: Greenland is a country
Date: January 12, 2025
He said Greenland is a country. It’s not, though. It’s a territory of Denmark. He still hasn’t admitted it.
Status: Wrong.

Claim 2: Guantanamo Bay Prison Confusion
Date: January 10, 2025
At first, he thought fewer than 50 people were involved at Guantanamo Bay, but then he bumped the number to 100. Turns out, over 720 people had been affected by the whole thing over the years.
Status: Wrong.

Claim 3: Canadian Stores Accepting Dollars at Par
Date: January 2, 2025
He said all Canadian stores accept Canadian dollars at par. He was wrong about that, too.
Status: Wrong.

Claim 4: Personal Acquaintance in 2003–2004
Date: January 2024
He claimed we knew each other back in 2003 or 2004. He even said I used a cane. He always talks about it, like he’s sure, but when I asked him about it, he dropped it completely and said he didn’t want to talk about it anymore.
Status: Wrong.

Claim 5: Confusion Over Con Artists (Sorokin and Chapman)
Date: December 2024
We were talking about two con artists, Anna Sorokin and Anna Chapman. He got confused and thought I was talking about Anastasia Romanova, the lost princess. It didn’t really make sense. He still insisted on it, even after I explained.
Status: Wrong.

That’s all. He’ll probably come up with something new next time, and we’ll do it all over again.