Trump Watch: Doug Ford Buddy
Doug Ford’s Worst Policies vs. Trump’s Worst Moves: A Sarcastic Comparison
So, we’ve got Doug Ford, Ontario’s answer to “whatever’s left on the shelf after the good politicians are sold out,” and then there’s Donald Trump—the guy who could make even a tree stump seem like a political genius. Let’s compare the two.
First, let’s talk about Doug Ford’s “cheap knockoff” version of political leadership. You know, the guy who came in with promises to fix everything and somehow ended up making things worse. His cuts to healthcare? Brilliant. It’s like going to a restaurant, paying for a five-star meal, and being handed a half-eaten sandwich with a bite taken out of it. He slashes funding to hospitals, puts up a nice façade about “fiscal responsibility,” and then wonders why the healthcare system’s a disaster. People are waiting hours to get treated while Ford’s sipping on his double-double like nothing’s wrong.
And Trump—oh, Trump. The man who thought the word "truth" was a synonym for “convenient fiction”. Cuts to healthcare? Yeah, Trump loved that. The Affordable Care Act? Gone. In its place, he promised a cheaper, better healthcare plan, which, let’s be honest, was about as real as a unicorn that doesn’t eat rainbows. But hey, at least Ford’s cuts weren’t paired with accusations of straight-up fraud (well, we don’t know for sure… but let’s not rule it out).
Next up, Ford's dismantling of public transit. I mean, he cuts funding for essential public infrastructure like it's a Black Friday sale, hoping no one notices the wreckage. I bet Doug Ford looks at a pothole and thinks, “That’s an opportunity to save a buck.” Meanwhile, he's driving around in his SUV, laughing at the idea of people relying on buses that show up when they feel like it.
Trump’s version of this? The Wall. Oh, you know, the $20 billion monument to “doing something” while somehow making everything worse. The wall became a symbol of division—because nothing screams “progress” like a giant, unnecessary structure that does exactly nothing other than make his base feel like he’s doing something about immigration. And, let’s be real—no wall was ever going to stop a determined coyote with a shovel.
But hey, they both love their scandals! Doug Ford? His cronyism is so blatant, it could give Trump's dealings with his family members a run for their money. Ford’s buddying up with developers, allowing them to build wherever they want. You know, because why not prioritize the rich, while the rest of the province scrambles to find affordable housing? If Doug Ford had a dollar for every time he pushed through a deal that benefitted his pals, he'd be able to buy a third mansion. Or, you know, maybe even a private healthcare system to match his public policy expertise.
Trump? If his name was attached to a scandal, it was probably attached in gold. Whether it was the Trump Organization’s tax evasion (which makes dodging taxes seem like an Olympic sport) or the fact that he tried to bribe an entire country to interfere in his election, Trump’s version of political favoritism was like taking candy from a baby, if that baby also happened to be the entire U.S. taxpayer.
And let’s not forget the good ol’ “culture war”. Doug Ford—man, he loves that culture war. You know, making headlines by slashing the sex education curriculum—because teaching kids about consent, LGBTQ+ rights, and the real world might just shatter his fragile worldview of how things should be. Ford probably still thinks "LGBTQ+" is some kind of advanced algebra. Meanwhile, Trump is having a field day with his own culture wars—whipping up paranoia over “critical race theory” and “woke mobs”—because nothing says “patriotism” like creating fear where there’s none.
In conclusion, both Doug Ford and Donald Trump are masters of stirring the pot. Ford's politics are as empty as his promises of better healthcare, and Trump’s… well, Trump’s policies are like a bad reality show that’s only been cancelled because the audience realized they were the punchline. Both like to cut, slash, and distract—while the people get left behind, scrambling for the basics while their leaders pull off stunts that make you wish for a good, old-fashioned election scandal that doesn’t actually hurt anyone.
So, yeah—both Ford and Trump are doing their best to give the worst of politics a bad name.
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